I once had a very wise DBer pass on a quote, that still resonates within me....
Sometimes, the Harvest that we will reap, isn't from the fields that we have sewn..
It took me a few weeks of thinking to REALLY understand what she meant with this, and I hope that it will mean the same to you one day...
Look, she stole the rocking chair off of your front porch, and with that, I mean that she stole your dream of growing old with her, and what you expected your life to look like....
You are going to miss her in your life, thats just the way that it is, and you cannot change that. Actually, if you DID change that, I would worry more about you.....
That speaks volumes about the person that you have become...
Her actions can only control what you allow them to control, and I think that you are placing way too much emphasis on her new love interest, and the effect that it will, or will not have on your Son....
Sometimes, looking into our children's eyes causes a lot of pain.
You will see the traits that they have of our Ex.
If you CHOOSE to only see that, then you will be choosing the pain associated with that.
Life is about perception, who is cheating who. Who is getting more from something than you...
It can also be turned to the other extreme.....
You can CHOOSE to see the traits that he has, that came from you..
You can choose to see what you are getting, that no other person will ever get....if you choose that
You are his Father...no matter what....and you will ALWAYS be...
You have a deep love for your ex still, nobody can deny that.
The greatest form of loving another, is the selfless act of letting them go....
I still love my vows, everyday. I have been Divorced now for almost 3 years...
I still love her...just in a different way...
I still honor her...by honoring her quest to find her happiness..
And I still Cherish her, and the memories that we had together...
I knew my Ex's OM. And as hard as it was to do, when my children told me that they had been introduced to him, I looked them both in the eye, and told them;
As strange as it is, he makes your Mother happy. He is a pretty smart guy, and he will have a lot to offer you, if you let him in and accept him. Don't ever feel like you are betraying me, by liking him. You owe that amount of respect to your Mother.
This anger stage that you have been dealing with, can propel you to new heights....IF....you choose to deal with it in a healthy way....
Anger is usually the fuel that we need, to propel us to the next phase of our life. And typically, when anger is present, you will find yourself on the cusp of major change in your life
