4th Down And Getting A Little Anxious

[Georgiabelle]

H's parents came yesterday to help me with the kids so I could do some things. I am very close to them-much closer than he is. His great aunt died yesterday so h's mom texted him to see if he will go to the funeral.

Just weird I suppose. I think overall I am doing well, but it's weird to think my h is dating someone in college. I know you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the unexplainable. However, he literally is the polar opposite of the person I knew with the exception to he still likes animals. This person who always thought I was great and he was lucky to have me now thinks I am the source of his unhappiness. The 3 kids we have that he was so excited about are now an obligation. He loves them, I know, but as my kids' and my therapists say "whatever that really means." My D9 told his mom that she just sees her Dad is going further away. I thought that too, but sometimes I wonder if their dad just really didn't love me. Strange to think he has been thinking this so long, and I can look back and see some changes over the year pre BD, but since he told me that he loved me and missed me right before BD I guess I thought things were stressful but okay. Eh, doesn't matter. Can't change that.

One of my closest friend's is coming over this weekend with her kids. I know we will have fun-we always do with laughter. My D9 and I won at trivia last night. Yay! Maybe I need a massage.....