She moved home but still in love with OM!

[Oxford1]

"Ok, so,we had our first argument since she moved back in. It was kind of cathartic.
I think it was a little fear because we are going to the lawyers tomorrow.
It's to work with some financial planners and set up the final boundries."

I don't understand how the lawyers are supposed to set up boundaries. That is for YOU to set up.
sorry for coming across so incoherent . It's really the Collaborative divorce coach (psychologist) and the financial planner . The Lawyers are there more as consultants to us...I should have been more specific.

"She keeps violating them but I am afraid I have been allowing it.
for example we were hanging out In the master bedroom I the bed talking when the argument started."

I don't get it. What boundary was crossed? It sounds more like you're trying to punish her rather than actually setting up something that protects your assets.

somehow she slips in " he won't let me do that" or " he has a good heart" or we went hiking and XXXXX was telling me"
She claims that I am leading her to bring him up in conversation; I could be maybe without knowing it? But I asked her to stop , she can choose not to answer, but 9 out of ten times she gets him into the situation. That is the boundary. My other is when we are with the divorce team and she Brings up her plans to move to Israel or his apartment is really there apartment ( my face probably flushes because I get a panic feeling when she does this), she senses it upsets me, and when we leave the meeting she asks if I am ok I looked awful at the meeting...to me bringing up moving there combined with then asking me if I am ok, when she knows full well what is (I told her) is to me a violation.

Then she said I feel bad, maybe we should put up a divider so you can sleep here.

Ofcourse for some reason that led to another big argument..she was yeeeeeellllllling I was actually getting a little attached to her , it was a rush to see how strong she can be and how she will protect her beliefs."