I feel for you. This is a nightmare that none of us asked for. But we are all very strong people, the week give up sooner than us. I wish that I had found this site in the beginning, as I have made every mistake a few times, and now H is even further away from me. We are roommates only - even seperate rooms. H is having EA and PA but claims they are only friends. UGH!
I am glad that you did not do the things that other sites recommended. I have heard some really off the wall things to keep things together.
You will find that this is the best place to come and get advice and vent. Friends and family are concerned for you and don't give the best advice and get tired of listening. They cannot remove the worry for their loved one from the equation.
It took me a long time to realize this was not my fault. I hope that you figured it out early on. I kept thinking if I would have done this, if I would have done that he would be ok. The reality is that there is nothing that I could have done to stop this process. I have been blamed for everything including H childhood and I did not know him until late 20s.
Learn to find things that make you laugh. Sometimes the things MLCer do, you cannot help but laugh, as you have cried too much.
The best things for me have been IC, meds, and giving myself time to cry or yell or punch the punching bag everyday.
