I find it a bit ironic that I have to go outside the scriptures to adequately explain some of this, but this is one of the best pictures I can paint:
A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”
Crimson, I believe in a benevolent God. I believe that He works all things out for our good. I believe we cannot adequately understand or interpret anything as ultimately good or bad until we get to the end of our life (one of the greatest tragedies in my own life probably ended up saving it, literally). Seeming tragedies do, in fact, turn into blessings if we can learn to let go a little bit and let God. This doesn’t mean that God wants bad things to happen to us. I don’t believe He does. I don’t believe He wanted you to be hurt as you were. I don’t believe He expects us not to be in pain and live as robots. He does understand your hurt. I do believe, however, that if you open up your heart and mind, He can do great things. I believe that you did hear God speaking to you in that candlelight service. However, I think sometimes when our expectations aren’t met, we are quick to doubt ourselves. God told you to give her back to Him because He has work to do. And you have done that. I don’t know if that means He returns her as your wife. There might be another purpose. There might be something else that He has worked out. But trust Him. Please. Trust yourself. According to Scripture, Jesus was crucified because He didn’t meet the expectations of the religious elite of the day. They expected a Messiah with military might, in the order of King David, who would deliver them from the hands of their captors (Rome at the time). When He didn’t do that, they doubted Him and crucified Him (obviously a bit simplified but still true). Problem was that God’s plan was far better and they didn’t realize it. They chose unbelief rather than faith and their lives were ruined because of it. They just couldn’t see the better plan that was right in front of them because they lacked faith and their hearts were completely hardened. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. I am so sorry for your pain and hurt. But I beg you to please keep your heart open and choose faith over unbelief. Faith in God. Faith in you. Faith that you will heal. Faith that your son will heal. Faith that you will be vindicated and she will see your good heart even if only as a friend. Faith that everything you are going through has a good purpose. Faith that you are loved. And faith that your life will be good. Just let go and trust God. That is true acceptance.
At the risk of sounding like I’m offering you simple platitudes, I want to tell you that I look forward to the day that I wander on here again and you are telling everyone how great life is turning out because I KNOW that day is coming. Just like Sunday came for Jesus, that day is coming for you. Just believe.
