"I really don't want to divorce her I Am madly and utterly in love with her!
But I can't take the abuse from her to me."
Not sure how you think she's abusing you. She hasn't done anything TO you. She is just pursuing something that she feels is important to her. You are the one who chooses to be hurt by it.
She is being extremely disrespectful by carrying on the way she is and rubbing his nose in her A; under the roof of the marital home. And that IS abusive.
