The affair 'fog' - running out of options

[mdu]

So I have been googling and reading about the whole chemical reaction aspect of an affair (i.e., the 'fog' thing) and getting more and more depressed. I mean I really have a hard time imagining H coming out of this. We separated already once and I let him come back because he claimed that he wanted to work on things and seemed so genuie. I think he has swung from high on her to a brief high on me when we decided to reconcile then crashed and burned when the reality of the work we have to do set in and he likely contacted her again because he needed his fix (or at a minimum he is obsessing about her to keep the high going). Now what? I've already pulled out the 'big guns' by asking him to leave once and won't do that again to the kids again. I'm feeling like my only option is to tell him to leave again with the full intention of filing for divorce. Crazy thing is H and I totally had the high chemistry romance initially, he should KNOW it does NOT last. But he's so crazy now i'm sure he's questitiong and thinking somehow it will last with HER. I just can't believe how he destroyed our marriage