artsy-- a bit too late for me for that. Oh well. I can only move forward. I've come to my senses though and have stopped talking about it in a one-sided way--I've actually stopped talking about it much at all with most people. (and most people don't ask much anyway).
Bit of journaling-- trying to stay in the positive... Need to show him consistent change. He's brought up a couple of things recently that seem to indicate that he's not 100% convinced that I'm capable of lasting change, at least in regards to my relationship with him. So... instead of feeling defeated when he doesn't respond the way I'd like him to (when I give him a compliment on his parenting, or ask him how he is feeling), I'm trying to just stay the course. Take a breath. The truth is, if I'm really honest with myself, that I am not a completely different person. I've changed in many ways, but the "old" me still creeps in at moments. So I have to be patient with myself, too.
But man do I hate this detached, friendly co-parenting thing. When he writes, "Hey, thanks for that nice note. That was nice to hear," it sounds to me a little bit like I'm glad you are coming around to our new situation. This will make things easier for all of us in the long run. And I'll respond politely, but I won't offer anything back to you that might make you think I'm starting to change my mind. Because I'm not. Just want to be clear on that. But I'm so glad we can be nice to each other through this, because there are no hard feelings. Sometimes things just don't work out and we will all be better off this way, and I'm so glad you are starting to see that, too.
