Barrybran

[Barrybran]

Ok, thanks LFW and Cat. I was confused because I did something for myself and felt good about it and at the same time, I felt horrible for missing how it made my wife feel as I could see how she felt controlled through our relationship. Overall though, my feeling is that I've bought the gym for me to add to the life I'm trying to live independent of my wife and while I'm upset at how it's made her feel, she's chosen this route and until I have an opportunity to be thoughtful of her, I feel I should keep doing things for me.

So yesterday, I spent the morning at home with the kids. I promised them we would build and paint little wooden things my wife and I bought for them on Sunday and I told them it wouldn't be getting done first thing in the morning (my kids have been waking up before 6:30am). As the morning passed, my girls decided to be little b*****s and I felt myself getting angry and frustrated. I put some cartoons on in the other room and took a time out for myself. I don't want to yell at them or smack them and they were really pushing me. I calmed down and let the kids through the house again and a while later, my girls started again and this time, my son started being annoying too. My blood started to boil again and again I sent the kids out of the room I was in so I could settle down. By the time I'd settled down again, the babysitter was due in half an hour and we didn't have time to paint the wooden things. My kids were disappointed and I was too.

I don't want to let my kids down. I also know I don't have the energy to spend time nicely with them when their behaviour is poor. I felt really proud of myself for not yelling yesterday even though I got close several times. I felt upset that they were upset that I said they could paint their things and we didn't end up doing it. I felt more upset when I got home from work to find that my wife had let my son start painting his and she knows I told them we would do it. I'm trying to keep my word to my kids AND they're frustrating me to the point of needing time out for myself. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?