If you read through all the sitches here, and from the past in the archives, you will see this is pretty normal, this behavior of hers.
MLC'ers are self-absorbed, it IS about them. They are trying to save themselves. Please try to not look for ANYthing from her right now. Nada, Zilch, ZIP. You only hurt yourself doing so.
I'm 2.5 + years into phase 2 of my W's 5 year journey, I started here a few months after BD, not knowing what I was really dealing with, so I highly suggest digging in to sitches and archives here to learn...it will give you clarity and eventually you will learn acceptance and have some peace.
The sooner you accept, and begin working on yourself, taming your ego (that was particularly hard for me), figure out what YOU want YOUR life to look like, with or without her, the sooner you will feel better, the sooner you will create your own peace.
And you know, when I first started reading here and saw people posting that their spouses MLC was the best thing that ever happened to them, I did not understand how or why....I do now...It's the breaking of the old patterns, the opportunity for self growth, becoming the person we are meant to be. But you have to do the work on yourself to gain from this nightmare. My W's MLC, painful as it has been, is the best thing that has happened to me, because of who I am now. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
But you have to do the work, tame your ego, accept and stop trying to control the outcome.
Just my 2.5 cents...YMMV...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
