I think I belong here #3

[job]

GA,
You can't control him, you can't cure him because you didn't break him. You can't fix this situation for him because it's his problem.

I understand where you are coming from about the papers...but it takes two to get married and only one to file for divorce. My advice to you is if you have any inkling that you're going to need child support, etc., you need to file for it immediately. If your h is talking to others, he could very well come back and file for spousal support since he's going to school...I know that sounds crazy, but they will change even more as they move along the MLC trail.

As for him and his bills in another place, he's not worried about that and who knows, at some point he may get a roommate or if the affair continues on, she may move in w/him. I'm not saying that this will happen, but it could very well happen. So you need to prepare yourself for this because very few go on to live alone or w/family members.

You need to prepare yourself for a very long journey and what you "expect" of him, well...that's like my panties being tied to a balloon and traveling around the world. You can "expect" and/or think you are going to "rely" on him...but it doesn't work that way. He's gone, emotionally and mentally for quite some time and now physically. You need to drop your expectations at zero or very low because his first priority will be himself only. It will be all about him and the more you try to "guilt" him into doing something, the more he's going to distance himself.

I know you don't want to do anything to rock the boat, but it doesn't matter whether you do or you don't file for support, he's not going to come back and be a responsible adult for a few years down the road. You have to take care of yourself and your children financially. He's gone, gone, gone and it will take many years for him to grow up and realize what he's lost, if ever. There is no way to tell this early on whether he will be one of those that matures and wants his family back. Prepare for the worse and hope for the best. Who knows...you may be one of the spouses that gets so fed up w/his behavior and h is burning of the bridges, you just may not want him back if he should beg to come home.

Stay strong, do the math and get your finances in order and that includes support documents, live your life to the fullest and hug your children each and every day and reassure them that no matter what happens, you will be there for them.