Thanks Sandi, for your input. Yes, in C (I recorded the sessions), that was it, in addition to "poor communication" - we have bickered for years. Rarely to the point of raised voices, but nonetheless. Those are the big 3.
Been together since 1989 (college, broke up a few times in college and once afterward. I "cheated" (no sex) once before we were engaged. I am 44, she is 43. 3 girls, 13,11,9.
Different/unusual....hmmm. About 1.5 years ago she started reading crappy romance novels on her kindle, constantly. Is always on Goodreads, always looking for the next thing to read. Initially I thought what the heck, I don't care where she gets her appetite if she brings it home. That worked, once only, after reading 50 Shades. Got a tattoo summer of 2012, didn't consult me. Def seems preoccupied.
I sent a guy-friend a text after she laid D on me, searching in my mind for answers. His wife is one of her BF. I mentioned in it that I thought she was perhaps depressed, or at least unfulfilled in life (not working, kids are all in school now). Well, he mentioned that to the BF, and BF mentioned it to W, and then she got on my ipad and read it. Had to enter my passcode to get into it - I didn't know she knew it. Well, it blew up royally, I first got wind when her Mother called me at work - "why are you telling everyone she's crazy, etc....". Not what I said at all. Anyway, we are still suffering from that. My point was, if someone I love, and who is (still) family, is (I think) depressed, should I NOT mention that to anyone?? W says she felt totally defamed from that.
Do you think there some MLC going on, Sandi?
I did read SSM years ago, but honestly, I've read so much from so many dif sources I can't say if I implemented anything.
Your insight is highly valued and appreciated here - mucho thanks!
