Go- Do not invite you W to any extended family type events until you take care of the Elephant in the room. How do you think you would be able to make any decision about your future without knowing what the hell is going on?

No snooping - The book was delivered to your house. Have the nasty talk and get it out of the way- If not move forward assuming, and being accepting of, the worst......and never ever bring it up

All the books and all the steps toward R will be for nothing unless you choose one of the above two options............

ME 38 W 37
T18 M5
D3
BD 1/7/13
PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing
2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13
W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13
First mediation appt 12/19/13