ok Starsky... ACTION... I feel I started "action" by not accepting coffee yesterday.
One thing I worry about is that when/ if Xbf feels rejected he doesn't pursue... He goes the other way. I have seen this behaviour in him. When he thought I had a bf he backed off and left me alone... it did not make him come closer. He "says" and his actions "showed" that he came closer when we discussed that I did not have a bf over the past few months. He then became closer, more interested.
So, not sure that keeping him guessing will have the right affect. He needs security that I am working on myself and not seeking male attention. However, this is a double standard... He is not officially working on himself and is enjoying the attention of other women. THIS <<< is a boundary.
Gabby... ok... let me reword my boundary.
"I will not be with someone who is not prepared to BE with me in an exclusive, committed relationship & prepared to address problems by seeking counselling and/or self-help. I need him to look inward and be willing to do the work, not while entertaining OW's attention.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
