Unfortunately, I'm going to have to handle this in a text instead of face-to-face to give him plenty of time to consider it before he drives 4 hours to the coast. I don't want to just bring it up out of the blue, but I DID mention "ground rules" in the texts last night. Hopefully an opportune time will present itself in the next few days. If not, I'll just throw it out there.
Yep -- I agree. But so long as you also do it again (but ONLY ONCE!) in person. He needs to see your resolve. Think "Mamabear."
I'm disappointed that you didn't lay this boundary earlier, as it would have been much stronger. I frequently get into debates around here with posters who mistakenly say "The best time to lay a boundary is when you're ready," instead of the proper strategy of "The best time to lay a boundary is EARLY -- as early as possible." This is because:
1. Boundaries are for YOU, and it will help you get thru your sitch if your wayward spouse learns to respect your boundaries;
2. Boundaries are healthier for your KIDS.
3. Clearly laying -- and learning to enforce -- boundaries builds RESPECT, and therefore ATTRACTION.
You do it later, and it can seem "coached," or -- worse -- even as some sort of pursuing tactic. When properly laid at the outset, it sends a clear message of "These are my core boundaries of personal integrity. Do not cross them if you want to be around me."
