Loot and lawyers ...

[Train]

Thanks for stopping by, FP!

I've found it helpful to say to the kids "I don't control your dad" and then I try not to. When my kids tell me something bothers them, I let them know that they need to talk to their father directly and not through me.

Yep. I use this one A LOT with S7. But every time he tries to address his dad about something that bothers him - which is rare - S7 starts crying. I'm trying to work on this with him so he becomes a better communicator eventually.

"I know we both want what's best for the kids thru all of this, and I am thankful for that. In light of that, I have decided that going forward I would ask that you not text OW or call her from in front of them. They've both brought it up to ME as being very upsetting to them, and we need to help them thru all of this. I would also of course expect you not to text or call her from inside of our marital home, like you used to -- that's incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage and to our family."

This is a gem, Starsky. Thank you.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to handle this in a text instead of face-to-face to give him plenty of time to consider it before he drives 4 hours to the coast. I don't want to just bring it up out of the blue, but I DID mention "ground rules" in the texts last night. Hopefully an opportune time will present itself in the next few days. If not, I'll just throw it out there.