I'm in, Wife's Out - Pt. Two

[trc2009]

Just wanted to give a quick update.

We're still technically separated. The eggshells have become much less and the conversations don't seem to be as much forced as they used to be.

W is still very guarded in terms of the physical stuff. There is no touching. After talking about it a couple weeks ago, her reasoning is that she doesn't want to give me the idea that she wants sex therefore she's not comfortable with any type of physical contact. That may be true or it may be her blowing smoke up my rear end but what's a person to do in that situation? It's not like it's an issue you can force. Is that normal for a couple after ending a pretty contentious separation?

Still sleeping in separate beds which is not a huge deal to me. I sleep better alone anyway and I have been sleeping much better since we started staying under the same roof. Still, it would be nice to get back there at some point.

The physical part is really the only thing we're lacking in terms of a functional marriage. We are able to have serious conversations about the kids, finances, and general day-to-day marriage stuff without any type of confrontation or heated discussion. I'd imagine that's huge.

She's actively looking for a job still and just had an interview last week. It does look promising and hopefully she gets it. Not a huge paying job but a solid, entry-level position that could lead to more opportunity down the road. I so much want to trust her with this because her going back to work is something she needs to do. But I'm seriously worried that she's just buying time until she's financially able to be on her own. I wouldn't put that past her at all and that would be very consistent with what a W.A.S. would do.

We'll see. I've done a very good job since we've been under the same roof of giving her the benefit of a doubt. We've been under the same roof for three weeks now. The first week was incredibly weird. The second week was better but we still had some dirty laundry that ended up being aired. And we've genuinely been moving forward a little bit the last week and a half.

The physical stuff is truly bothersome to me. I'm not even talking about sex. There is simply no affection at all. It's like living with a roommate.

Any advice in working past that would be appreciated. Patience goes without saying, but I'd like to hear from those of you who had to work on building the physical part of your marriage back up after a bitter few months.