4th Down And Getting A Little Anxious

[BklynMom]

""Family is extremely important to me- it's always what I wanted. I looked at h's family and saw these loving, smart, hard working and supportive people and assumed h must be like that. Instead, he is broken, had been for a long time and acts nothing like them. """

This is exactly why I dismissed so many of my xh strange behaviors. I saw his parents and his brother & sister all have normal healthy relationships. I thought my xH wanted the same but it is obvious he does not want that.

They find ways and excuses to blame us for wicked behavior. Tell us they need to recover from their R with us. I dont buy.

My xH has always pretended to be happy but in fact he is deeply disturbed and messed up. (I do wonder what really is going on in his seemly happily family - maybe the whole family is acting...) I on the hand could have been described as having a baseline happyness of around 3.

But after finding therapy, anti depressants, Alanon and these boards I think I have a new baseline of 7 or 8. The point being that their is hope for your H if he chooses to find it.

I think you need to discuss with someone your fears for your children safety when they are with your H, to help you figure out if your fears are rational or over the top. Maybe a brother or sister, that knows your H?

Big hugs, you are doing great