Barrybran

[Barrybran]

My wife told me this morning that she'd been thinking about the home gym last night. She said that she was angry about it because she had wanted a home gym for a long time and I said no and that now we're separated I go and buy one for myself. I told my wife that I don't recall this conversation and she responded by saying there were several conversations about it. I don't remember any of them. I told her that I understood why she was angry about it. I don't know what I can do about this other than putting a bit more thought into what I buy before I buy it. Honestly though, I bought the gym for myself and now that we're separated, I can only buy things for myself and the kids. If I truly live for myself, what my wife thinks won't come into what I buy. It's very confusing and I feel I have to continue to do what is right for me even if it alienates my wife. I wish there was a magic way to not alienate my wife with what I do.

She disappeared and came back and I told her that while I know I've pissed her off a lot lately, I aprpeciated that she told me her feelings. She responded a few minutes later by saying that she only tells me now because she feels resentment if she doesn't and she knows what she's like when she doesn't tell me. She went on to say that an in-house separation isn't working for her and she will be calling the real estate today to see how two houses will work. I told her I understand why she feels that was and that she can only do what she feels is right. I asked her, to cover all bases, to think about what I can do to make living in this house more comfortable if she chose to continue living here.

She still hasn't mentioned divorce and she mentioned about couples working it out by having space through separate houses. She said that there were couples who have figured it out after being separated while under one roof. She did say that they parted amicably though so I don't know whether she meant that the separation was amicable and that made it easier to live together while they worked things out or they just went their separate ways completely. My wife says that she needs more space and that I'm always here at home and that she doesn't feel we can work it out under one roof. The tone of the conversation didn't feel like a "working it out" one. It felt more like an "I need to get away from you" conversation.