we are meeting with a local counselor (who mostly uses Gottman's therapy ideas). W said in the last session that she has noticed my changes, but says they don't seem "genuine". I think even the C was a bit exasperated, and asked "what would genuine look like?". She couldn't say.
C has advised in several sessions now that we need to spend some 1-1 time together outside of his office, and we all agreed at this point it should be W that initiates this. Also, if you're into the 5 Love Languages, she is Quality Time. The problem is - she won't/hasn't scheduled any. I am Physical Touch, and she has also said she doesn't want me to be affectionate.
To back up, it was W who scheduled the local counselor, and we are not separated, but she said on 3/15/14 that she wanted D and had talked to a lawyer. I don't think anything has progressed there, as we are going to C.
So, she's going to MC with me, but really won't do any of the things the C has suggested, numerous times. Doesn't want me to initiate time together, touch, saying of ILY, nothing. Should I just wait it out some more and let the MC handle it? I'm really getting impatient and wonder why we're there. Yes, back to DB, I should be able to turn this thing around by myself, I guess, but we ARE both there together getting Gottman-style MC.
One of the things I wonder about....they say that "that which gets rewarded gets repeated", about a lot of things. If she can just go on and do nothing on her end to mend things, and never get called on it, doesn't that just confirm that that's ok for her to do?
As for my "not genuine" changes - which have been better communication, and not getting my chores done around the house. I've done a 180 on these, for the most part, though not all communication (what little we have) is always positive - I am human after all. What can I do, just keep SHOWING my changes?
