5 months of heck...ugh

[mleigh4]

Hi scooby

I, too, am disgusted by my H behavior. I also go through the how's and why's. I sometimes still can't believe what is happening or how we even got here. Then my focus started changing from H to my own feelings towards him. I have lost so much respect for H, his lack of respect for our M and vows. I honestly wonder, could I ever feel close to him again? If he all of a sudden said let's work on this, do I really want to at this point? Focusing on my own thought and feelings inside of Me, not his but mine, has helped me to detach and keeps me mentally busy while also exploring my wants and needs.

I hope that helps.