WH, I am thinking of you today. I have been right where you are - thinking it was all about to be done, then seeing XH renege on his agreements and seemingly 'win' in regards to settlement.
They have to do it this way, these guys who show such a pattern to their behaviour in mlc. They can't agree to anything we offer, or let us win in any way. They will go to trial rather than agree with us about anything.
Keep handing it over to your L, and know that this will be over, eventually.
It's weird and pathetic that these WASs go on like this, but it is just what they do. My L described my XH as "clearly unhinged".
Is there something you can focus on in terms of moving your life forwards? Doesn't have to be H-related... any sort of change or project you can throw yourself into to make you realise that you are achieving something new?
I have bursts where I re-arrange the house, plant stuff out, investigate my financial options, paint walls, repair things, etc. Shows me I'm actually moving on, and makes me feel so much better.
And re your comment: "I feel like an idiot for even being sad about this whole thing. It's been two years but it still doesn't feel real at times. I am really wondering if I have changed and grown at all."
If it helps at all, I feel just the same. I think what we're feeling must be normal for what we've gone through.
