Upwards - Moving Fowards, Tiny Positive Steps

[Upwards]

Amen to that. The path upwards may not be in a straight line (it may look like a stock market graph with some dips here and there), but we are definitely moving upwards, right?!?[quote]
I like to think so at times it doesnt feel like it but when I look back to only a few weeks ago that is proof enough!!

[quote]P.s. how do you know your husband's love language? Just based on experience or had you and he discussed that in the past?

There is a quiz here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ I did it for what I thought my H would answer although I was already pretty sure his main LL is acts of service as thats the way he's always shown love. If you read the book we often show love in our OWN love language naturally instead of our spouses love language, the book is worth a read!

[Upwards]

I've had lots of very positive interactions with H recently, i'm staying back & giving him lots of space but when we are together he's been really friendly & seems to genuinely like having me around. No expectations, but not complaining either

My D6 is struggling today which has been hard - she's been very angry the past couple of weeks and really misbehaving so I asked her what was making her so angry and she burst into tears and said that she wants daddy to live with us forever etc very hard, wish I could take it all away for her! She spoke to H on the phone who reassured her lots & I had a big talk with her so hoping she'll be ok, going to talk to her teacher at school too to keep an eye on her there.

[Upwards]

I'm finding it difficult at the moment because it feels like my H is coming back (yet new & improved!) gradually and it makes me miss him all the more, i'm glad that he's doing well of course but when we're getting on well it reminds me of what i've lost. I know I should see it as a positive that we get on so well & are getting closer but obviously it brings sadness too.

Tonight he called to see if I'm ok, he could tell I wasnt so I just said that I was having an emotional day and not to worry i'll be fine, he asked if there is anything he can do and said that he's "so sorry that he's putting me through this" then said "you are a amazing Mum & wonderful woman, never forget that" - this attitude is very new, real remorse & genuine concern, its nice that he's finally noticing me for who I am too!

Feeling very sad tonight as been doing lots of "sorting" and finding lots of memories tucked away in drawers & cupboards! :'( just trying to "feel it" and accept how I feel right now.

[JennD]

Chin up, Upwards! Focus on the positive and feel the hard memories in smaller batches.

[3boymom]

Sorry you are struggling Upwards. It really is easier to detach when they are being mean. Once you start to see bits and pieces of the old "H" it is hard to remain detached. You are strong. Keep taking it one day/hour/moment at a time. HUGS!!

[Upwards]

Chin up, Upwards! Focus on the positive and feel the hard memories in smaller batches.

Thanks hun, i'm trying. I've not done any today because i'm already feeling a bit rubbish.

Sorry you are struggling Upwards. It really is easier to detach when they are being mean. Once you start to see bits and pieces of the old "H" it is hard to remain detached. You are strong. Keep taking it one day/hour/moment at a time. HUGS!!

Yes its hard, I really like the man he's becoming & I am beginning to see the man that I fell in love with many years ago again, he hasnt been that man for a long time (only glimpses) so its a difficult reminder that he's not by my side anymore.

On the other hand its nice that he's actually showing genuine remorse & concern, I suppose I need to focus on those positives.

[hope456]

I'm sorry you're struggling, Upwards. I tell myself all the time that I need to focus on the positives. I just miss my friend and, when I see glimpses of him again, it makes it harder.

((((Upwards))))

[Upwards]

Well I completely fcked up tonight, lost the plot & had a meltdown in front of H - I'm such an idiot, so angry with myself. Arghhhhh!!!!!

[hope456]

I've been there...after a pattern of positive interactions like you've had. It's hard to stay strong and confident and put together all the time when going through something so tough. Don't beat yourself up too much.

((((Upwards))))

[Upwards]

I don't think it's to do with the positive interactions & more to do with struggling with my own fears & insecurities plus being exhausted. It was a cry for help, I regret it a lot, I haven't done that in a long time

Urgh 2hrs sleep