Day one of our long weekend together now over. She spent quite a few hours with me, I made a family dinner and we all ate together. Then she sat with me and we chatted for hours, small talk and catch up and no R talk at all. I was relaxed and chilled and so was she,it all felt so normal as if we were still a couple. Then we discussed plans for tomorrow and again we were in agreement over what to do. Its all a bit surreal right now,but I really do still feel that I need to detach completely after the break as planned. I just find that being in her company is hard work in terms of doing 180s and staying positive and cheerful when its not how I am really feeling. I hated it when she got up to leave so I know doing this on a regular basis is not good for me. I mean its not as if it was much about the boys today as when she was sitting chatting to me they were outside playing. It showed me though that LRT has to happen as I just can't do the whole happy families thing when its not real, I don't want her as a 'best friend' I want her as my wife and partner. I can't have that so I really have to detatch as much as possible.
