WH, Please breathe! Please do not compare yourself and your situation w/others, especially your friends. Your situation may not be the same as your friend's. You just moved out of your home in January and are just now getting back on your feet. You aren't divorced and you are having to claw your way along w/finances. Now, does that sound like someone who should be dating? No! You need to get your life in order and back on track. You are still very much focused on your h and reacting to his drama. When the ink is dry and you are more stable w/your finances and yes, more settled in your home and rediscover the person you once were, then I would venture forth into the new world and begin thinking about dating. Right now, in my personal opinion, you aren't ready emotionally or mentally.
Letting go takes time and you can't put a time limit on it. It will be a gradual exercise and one day, you'll discover that you have. Right now, there's still so much churning in that butter churn that the butter can't be made in the way of drama. Of course it hurts more when the kids aren't there. Why? Because your focus is actually then on you and you think about it and discuss it w/others. When the children are there, your focus is on them.
Today is Easter, go to church and if you have the opportunity to see the children, do it. If not, find something to do even if it's visiting a nursing home to see the folks there. They would love to have a ray of sunshine grace their presence.
Life isn't waiting...get out there and do something besides sitting in your place having a pity party.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
