Raine, Your posting hits home w/a lot of the posters these days. There is always going to be some type of conflict or disagreement, not just in the marriage and/or relationship, but in your day-to-day interactions w/others. If there is something that is not setting well w/you, yes, you should find a way to discuss it w/your partner in a very level-headed, calm manner. No one should be walking around carrying the resentment and being afraid to raise issues w/their spouses/partners. The main thing to remember is not what the topic is, but how to raise it and deal w/it.
You are correct in saying that relationships take work and the hardest part of the MLC journey is reconciling. Why? Because it's a brand new relationship and you can't revert back to your old ways of doing things or your spouse will be out the door once again. If you are lucky enough like Raine, RH, HRM, and Jack (I'm sure I've missed some of the other posters here), and reconcile, be prepared to work harder than you have ever done in your life because you will need set aside your old habits and work on some new ones. Your MLC spouse is going to be different, i.e., more mature, and may even come away from his/her crisis w/some new personality traits that may be good or bad, depending upon what they are. Also, expectations have to remain low while reconciling because he/she is still very fragile and it takes a lot of time for them to feel comfortable in their own skin as well as coming home. Yes, it's a lot of work, but I am positive that many of you are more than willing to do the work...just be prepared for a long haul and dig deep for lots of patience along the way.
rH, if you are reading, it's okay to have conflicts and disagreements and it's good to lay those things out on the table and work them out. Don't allow them to fester. It's best to clear the air as soon as something comes on your radar.
Happy Easter everyone!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
