Claire - oh, at some point that will certainly be appropriate -
Look at it this way, if you (like my W) are not nice, not friendly, not understanding, and/or not caring, does that attract or repel him? Sure there is an element of luck here, but you might as well stack the deck.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.