She's returning home for in house separation!

[melissag]

I am not entirely up to date on your sitch, but just from reading a few pages, I can see you are stuck in that place where you are trying to find the magic bullet.

We have all been there. We all think, in the beginning, that our sitch is different. That all these people giving us advice don't know what they are talking about. We think there must be some way that WE can make our WASs come back. There isn't.

That's why people will tell you over and over - you need to focus on YOU. You cannot control what your W does or what the OM does. (And I agree with gogofo, why are you looking at your W's texts? That is not helping anything.)

Your need to give your W her space. Stop talking about the R. Stop talking about the OM. Stop trying to show her this or that, or make her want to be with you.

Think about her complaints. And then think about if there is anything else about yourself, that you might want/need to change. Are you happy with who you are? Work on being the person you want to be, NOT the person your W wants you to be.

Don't read into every little thing your W does and says to you or the OM. That's just stepping right onto the roller coaster and asking to have a volatile ride. Stop strategizing, and start living.

You have to believe everyone here who tells you this is a LONG ride. If you keep going the way you are, you are going to go insane.

Have you finished reading DB? Do you see what you need to do and why?