Boy oh boy, Oxford. I am trying to stay compassionate because I can tell you are hurting. But I'll be blunt-- I don't think anything about your situation will change, and I don't think you will feel any peace, until you take a deep breath, put on your big boy pants, and use at least some of the great advice you have been given here.
You keep asking the same question- "you don't know what to do!" Yet you've been advised several times about just that. What is it about our advice are you having trouble understanding? You don't seem to be a very good listener.
