Hey GM - I don't know if it's "I care" or not. I mean, I have really, really, really pulled back. I have basically gone dark over the last week plus. I was just curious what "goodness" looks like to her from my end. Because historically, it has mean access to S whenever she wants (pictures, etc.), giving up days when she wants them to go home or vacation...and so on. In the absence of things like that where she is on the receiving end -- she thinks I am being retaliatory or vengeful. I am not saying I care 100%, I'm just saying that's how I think she sees it (mind reading? Maybe). I have been out with dates with a decent number of women that are divorced - some with kids, some without - and a statistically relevant number of them being on the receiving end of physical abuse. When I tell them the honest facts that have lead to the divorce they almost all say "you're kidding - right?". Furthermore, SO many of them have been given the shaft financially by their ex-husbands. And by that I mean they hide money, or just flat out don't pay child support. I have yet to find one that has received alimony. Not one. I guess I say all that to say, yes, GM, I have been a damn good ex and have gone way above and beyond -- to the point I don't think she even realizes it. Or worse yet, it has just become an expectation. I have given extra days, accidentally overpaid spousal support and not asked for it back, sent pictures, updates, on TOP of really trying make material changes in my character as a man, a father and a partner in life....based off of her criticisms. I have gone way out of my way to keep the peace often at the cost of my own happiness. So yeah, there has been goodness on my end I think....all of which has become an expectation or entitlement I think. Never noticed.
So I had to pick S up at her place last night a 5. Yep...it was a chilly reception and basically no words were exchanged between us. She watched as I walked away with S and loaded him into my car. She didn't seem too happy, but I feel as though it was more being not happy with me (not returning texts, not answering phone, basically "blacking out") than about her situation in general. Granted, neither of us likes to give up S when our time is over - but there was a friendliness in interaction there that was gone.
