Luke-- what I worry my H is thinking is something like, "we care about each other, we can be nice and friendly, we maybe even feel love for each other...but we just don't work as a married couple. And the fact that she is doing so great on her own confirms that to me. We are all (including our D) better off apart. And now I don't have to feel so much guilt about it because she is so happy and capable without me."
And I know that being miserable and needy certainly isn't going to win him back. But damn this is frustrating. The changes are for ME. I KNOW. But sometimes I want to bop him on the head and tell him what an idiot he is.
