Thankyou for that post Grocerykartman I think you are right that I have been looking for affirmation, I suppose I have been wallowing in self pity for a while and its a natural way to deal with it I suppose. I also agree that resentment has built up but I am concious of that and am trying to distance myself from that feeling as I know it is counter-productive. I guess my overwhelming feeing for a while now has been one of sadness and grief over the loss of the girl I was in love with and I am trying to find ways to demonise her as she is now to help me cope with the fact that she has changed, possibly forever. I know that needs to stop and that I must fully accept who she is now and let her get on with her life without judging. I have said to her that I don't care what she does with her life providing it doesn't adversley affect the boys, I would have though that was just boundary setting but maybe I have got that wrong. I never ask her now what she has been doing or where she has been going, in fact so much so that she has started to volunteer the information anyway, but I just smile now and say ' oh thats nice' We will be spending a lot of time together over the Easter break and I am using it to show her that I have changed in many ways.But I don't expect anything to change with our sitch and am going into full LRT after the break. If there is anyhthing else I can do I would appreciate feedback.
