Thanks job! I am wondering what is up because he has been in a very good mood this week and a chatty Kathy. I don't trust this. I am having a hard time chatting back. I just nod my head and listen. With the trying to detach - I find that when I interact with him, I have a hard time turning off the detaching. I have been detaching from his ea and pa with OW - and anything about that. I almost feel like a B???H UGH - all this is so hard!
Hey tld - How many times has your H said he wants a divorce? Mine has done it 4 times now, in 10 months. Still has never uttered the 'D' word, though...This truly is emotional torture.
Me 53, XH 57 M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids BD June '13 H moved out July '13 Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14 H filed for D Nov. '14 D March '15
He has said divorce at least a dozen in six months. I have not counted I am pretty sure he means it. He is just waiting to figure out work. I think the only thing that would change his mind is if relationship with OW broke up - he says they are just friends. Yeah right - he spends more time with her than his family.
My H mentioned the D word last year (exactly a year ago actually.) It never came up again. But we barely talk. So far I don’t see any movements towards D. It could be a surprise though.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thanks for the encouragement. I am pretty sure he means it that he is going to divorce me when his work situation is over. Only thing is, there might not be any money left at that point. Too bad for him...LOL
H no longer lets me know that he is going to be late coming home. He used to let me know he was going to OW house (his BFF - whatever) I just let it ride, as I would feel silly calling or texting "where are you?" I wonder why he stopped informing. H is trying to be sneaker and lying about all things now. Honestly the lies are getting to be more transparent. LOL
At this minute I feel like filing, but like him I change my mind on this every minute. There are too many unknowns right now to file. I also do not want to hurt my kids - as he will play victim with his friends and my kids.
I have to say that I am very worried about H. He is not close to his family, and really became part of my family. His only friend has been ignoring him lately. His 3 new friends are acquired since his MLC last few months - one of them is OW. These 3 friends are trailer trash. My H has history of depression. Here is what I am worried about that his OW (who is ring leader of friends) if she breaks up with him - he will have nothing. I have been warned about his mental unstablity. So I worry suicide or he could harm me and kids. I may be worrying about nothing - but it does make it uneasy.
The friends your h acquires are his. This is his journey to own and all that goes with it. Focus on you.
Take care:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Thanks. I am doing better at focusing on me. I did not realize how many years I neglected myself. I am now realizing I am a follower and now am learning to be a leader.
Had an ok day. Saw more of h due to him having day off. Strange thing is I was not in mood to he around him. Today when he gave kids kisses and hugs I got disgusted BC I see him as tainted from being with ow. This can't be good thoughts. Anyone else had these? What did you do to overcome it?
Had to change name as someone was getting nosy. I am starting to get better at GAL. The thing is that H does not like me GAL. He has had some very short comments to me. It is so unfair he is having an EA and PA and I am supposed to stay home with the kids and do nothing. I think I am going thru an angry stage. He seems to be on my last nerve lately - which is not common for me at all.
Did anyone that is further along go thru an angry stage?
I am pretty sure he means it. He is just waiting to figure out work. I think the only thing that would change his mind is if relationship with OW broke up - he says they are just friends. Yeah right - he spends more time with her than his family.