Acceptance...

[Live4myDay]

Hi JS - I'm from northeast Ohio!! I hear from my family all the time with weather updates. Anyway...it's a pleasure hearing from you.

I know in my heart and soul I am where I'm supposed to be especially with my decision to be here with my D. He is not involved in her life. I'm sure if I stayed in Ohio near him it would be different.

AND, I wouldn't be here with D making incredible forward progress if we were still married. I still would hate to think God made me choose. Although he didn't... my X did.

I realize I have to mentally force myself to gain a different perspective. I can't agonize over the upcoming event. It's just the heart backslides into thinking we should be a family...almost sabatoging my efforts. He may or may no realize someday what the big picture will expose.

He is home alone for Easter...S is going to girlfriends family. I don't even know why he isn't with OW just that he called D all whoa is me I'm alone. I told D to invite him here...!!!! Yeah not at my place but come here to spend weekend with her (not me). She said she didn't want him to and that she'd rather do things for Easter like we always have. Would have been interesting.

I'm acting indifferent like I don't care either way but I was encouraging.

I do have to get exercising...YES it makes me feel so much better with a sense of accomplishment! I don't know why I slide backwards on everything. If ANY thing I HAVE to commit to that!

In many ways I do feel I have that "co-dependency" thing. My X always just threw out at me what a passive aggressive I was...litereally at the end. I had no idea what that even was! And btw I am NOT! Maybe some communications breakdowns but seriously to diagnose me! And then not even try to help me just quit! yeah He quit a long time ago. The OW just pushed him out the door.

Ok enough about that. I do think I still need to find a counselor in the area. Just don't know who or where to look. It seems like an undaunting task. Any advise?

Ok...so far so good...today on the high side of the rollarcoaster!