Not sure if I ever recommended this to you before, but you should look up old threads by a poster named Pearlharbr. Hers was also a LTR (not married), and she also finally decided "I need more from him!" and she held remarkably FIRM on that, hardly ever wavering, and eventually he stepped up and they ended up happily together.
I think the difference in how Pearl came across and how you're coming across (at least how you describe it to us here) will be striking to anyone who reads both sitches.
