New Year, New Goals, New me!

[mishka422]

I'm not entirely unhappy, I'm just not satisfied and that is my own problem and not something I feel I should lay at Gabe's feet right now. It's not urgent. I won't give up because that's just not who I am. I believe in sticking it out until death....truly. They weren't just words in a ceremony. I take them to heart.

What is good enough? What more do I expect really? Am I too practiced at expecting absolutely zero? Maybe that's it. Too many years of expecting nothing from anyone so I don't get hurt when things don't go well. Hmmm....interesting thought.

I'm happy in my own way I guess. Do you recall a time of pure joy? I can't remember that feeling and I'm not sure I would recognize it if it did come. That's pretty sick. DANG! I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm tearing up sitting at my desk. Not good.

Ok....deep breath.....let it go.