Thank you, YE, and thank you for all of your other posts. I wouldn't classify it as an affair...it really isn't. Just as GM said, she has moved on to someone else - and she is well within her rights to do so.
The funny thing is, I have worked on myself a lot - I mean a WHOLE lot. In terms of trying to be a better man, a better partner for someone (and yes, I had wished it was her), and a better father. In my heart of hearts it was my most sincere wish that at some point she would notice (the dream of every LBS) and think about seeing things differently. Well, she didn't. And either she is filled with resentment from our past still or truly believes that I am still the same Crimson she left behind. She looks at me and thinks that there are better alternatives out there to me, to our family, and to having our S in her life full-time. After the sincere efforts to change, and I am GLAD I have, I think it just stings that they are either unnoticed by her or unappreciated. Either way, the totality of who I am and who I can be is insufficient for her. That's what get to me.
To clarify, I made my changes for ME. I knew from the people here that if I did them with the sole intent of getting her to notice they would not last. At all. And that is a very true statement. So it was never a sham or tactic....I needed to change. And I needed to accept her criticisms of me in order to do that. I am glad that I am a different person now, and I can see it at times in how I handle certain situations in my life. I think I look at all of that paired with the other "good" I think I have in me and I am let down because she can walk away from it all.
