To add for Starsky.... I would not accept a marriage proposal right now anyway... HE needs to make some changes.... I need to see if who he is (the new him), is who I really want to be with.
I need to see who he is now... or who he may have always been and ignored for my benefit.... This will take time.
OK, thanks for clarifying, but I think you're headed for simply more of the same from him.
A few weeks ago, you posted this:
Quote:
You asked "why" I want this relationship? not because its easier, but because I actually like a lot about him... who he is as a person. We have history that I am not willing to throw away without a very good fight. The fight needs to be about me standing up for myself. The fight is not about me caving into his requests. The fight means I can rest knowing that I did my very best. Not sure if that means that it conflicts with:
1) doing what HE wants on his terms (his way, his time schedule), coffees, connections, dinner, no sex.
OR
2) like Bond suggests... spending time without "expectations", being more like a friend. Listening, having coffee's, connections, dinners, etc... NOO expectations!
OR
3) or with me saying "these terms don't work for me", cut his arse off (like you suggest)
Your post from this morning sounds a helluva more like just more of #1, than it does like either #2 or #3.
Perhaps I'm being simplistic, but if you don't push for marriage as the form of commitment you're going to require going forward, I think you're just looking for years and years of the same push-pull from him. You already seem to be backing off of your new boundaries.
