The above is just yet-another attempt from you to try to CONTROL the situation with your WORDS.
I really do have to work on this control thing. Have to trust enough to just let go. Monster 180 to get to work on.
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Also though, that she doesn't want me either
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Now THAT'S the healthiest thing I've heard her express since you began posting here!!
Hey now!
I'm dead serious. One of the biggest mistakes wayward wives make (and any good IC should tell them this), is trying to make life-altering decisions about their marriage, WHILE there is a 3rd person in it. I think one of the healthiest things a woman can do, who is not sure about whether or not she wants to remain married, is to END the frigging affair, go thru the withdrawal (from her OM) period and get her brain endorphines right, and just LIVE ON HER OWN for a period of time. 2-6 months.
And decide what she truly wants.
People around here always say "The affair isn't the biggest problem in the marriage, it's only a symptom." And I always disagree. I say "It may not be the biggest PROBLEM, but it IS most certainly the most immediate OBSTACLE. Because as long as her brain is all awash in those PEAs and "looooove" chemicals, she will NEVER see you -- or your marriage -- in an honest light (including its legitimate flaws). She will re-write marital history, and compare the lust emotions and taboo intrigue of her affair, to her now-rewritten marital memory of YOU . . . and it doesn't lead to healthy decisions . . . even from her own, purely selfish perspective.
I think it's very healthy for a WW to get to know herself for awhile, provided she is no longer in contact with OM.
