The unfairness of all this gets to me too. Sometimes I imagine God, in HIS COURT OF LAW, taking a big ol' gavel, the size of Texas, and just smashing Smokey and OW flat like a pancake.
He, GOD, would smash Smokey just after Smokey laid it all out there---all the "reasons" he HAD to put us through this (the unclean house/my earnings), all the unfairness, all the humiliation he brought upon all of us, all nasty, horrible stuff he did...God would see through the Crappola and That's when BAM!!!! God would put an end to it all.
God would use HIS gavel of justice and put us all out of our misery and get Smokey gone for good.
It's horrible, not-very-Christian, mean-spirited and probably says a lot about me in some deeply disturbed psychological way...but, ya know what? It's how I feel somedays. My girls and I were dealt some rough cards and we were profoundly let down by someone we loved and trusted. I gave this man every possible chance to redeem himself and he still tossed us aside.
It will take a lifetime to work through these feelings. It just will.
In the meantime, I will still enjoy my life. And, you will enjoy yours. Who knows what's ahead for you and the kids??!! That part is kinda exciting, isn't it?? :-)
Lots of love,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
