I don't think you are being true to yourself because you keep hiding from how you feel. I don't think he will run either but if he does, you wouldn't want him any way.
Since Marc will graduate in just a few weeks, you can now move to a cheaper place. Gabe will have to take whatever there is. Can't he pick up odd security jobs? Events need someone, banks hire security. Can't he try to be a cop again? What about a fireman? If he has to, he can do what it takes. Let him man up.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory