AJM, it's interesting that you cheer posters on when they are writing about positive steps they take, but feel the need to counsel when negative feelings are shared. I don't need to be called out or redirected. I need encouragement. The feelings I have are normal. I'm not "shackled" by them, but I do have them from time to time and it's ok. Why is that such a problem for you? Regarding acknowledgement from xh, I didn't have expectations, but it's reasonable to be disappointed in someone who falls short.
Your posts seem to be a lot of projection. Have you ever wondered why you have such a need to point out how crazy and angry your xw is and how you boast about how happy you are? Maybe you haven't changed as much as you think you have. It's something to think about if you're really trying to be your best self.
