I agree with artsy. Don't let her know that you are reading the book, but you can still start using her LL. My H's LL is words of affirmation, so I've been able to make sure that I use affirming comments (complimenting the dinner he made, thanking him for help in the yard, telling him I'm proud of how he handled something with D7), which is also a 180 for me.
Once you've figured out her LL, others on the board can probably give you some ideas on how start using it with your DBing.
