Loot and lawyers ...

[Train]

Now that I'm in the throes of legalities - and hitting 15 pages on Mondays for days ..., I figured it's best to start a new thread ...

Here's my original one with background: Take Two

[Train]

Starsky, on the last thread, when I detailed the numbers, those are rough monthly totals, based on every-other-week pay. Technically, every month has 4.3 weeks, and I didn't take the time to calculate it like that. I based most of that on being paid twice a month. Hope that makes sense. In a nutshell, H is paying $2,080 a month (using 4.3 weeks a month) now for CS and SS combined.

And L is saying that might actually be pretty reasonable, even though we had pitched $2,600 a month ($1,600 for CS and $1,000 in SS for 10 years). We're still going to talk about it.

[Train]

Moving this over here, Starsky.

Thanks -- now I get it. I'm a little slow this morning.

So he's basically saying "you can either pay the mortgage and provide our children with shelter, or you can buy groceries, haircuts, medicine, gas to cart our kids around, etc. . . . but you can't pay both."

Because $1,920/month doesn't even cover the mortgage payment!!!

It will cover the mortgage and leave me with less than $800 for groceries, utilities, etc. I'll need to get a job, obviously. But a job for me would cover only daycare for D2 with some change left over. THAT'S my struggle.

[Starsky309]

Sorry, I had misread the mortgage payment as being $2,228/mo, not $1,228.

[Starsky309]

Is there any equity in the home?

I guess I'm still shocked that he's willing to strategically default, unless he's way underwater on the mortgage vs. the home's value. And that he's leaving it to YOU to pay that (or not), out of your end.

Unless there was some sizable equity in it (and I had a reasonable legal claim to 1/2 of it under my state's family court laws), I would be inclined to accept his monthly contribution to you, but SKIP MAKING THE MORTGAGE PAYMENT, while beginning to seek suitable rental property in my desired area (like S7's school district). Even though NC is a non-judicial state for foreclosures, and they seem to be running 90-180 days (unlike Florida's 400+ days), you could sock away some needed funds doing that. And there are legal moves you could make to delay it even further.

Just a thought. It IS a huge decision.

[Train]

Omgoodness. H is on a *roll* today for some reason.

Just texted that he just opened his own personal bank account and I will need to go shut down the joint account. I told him that's no problem - I'll handle it when I return from my vacation. I asked if he would need the new account information for direct-deposit. He said "you bet."

Then, he texted, "Then all that's left (to split) is car insurance."

And then ... "Oh, and the actual marriage."

I ignored that and just asked him to re-confirm about not paying the mortgage. I said, "With the decrease in support being about $1,300/month (I think - haven't crunched numbers yet), I'll obviously not be able to pay the mortgage. Just double-checking that's what you still want me to do?" He wrote, "All up to you. I give a f**k about the house. You might wanna see if you can refinance, cause of the circumstances and keep it for yaself."

I wrote back, telling him refinancing would take me having a job, "which means $800-$1K a month in daycare for D2. All kinds of obstacles."

He wrote: "Yup."

And I said: "Enjoy your day. We'll see you later. :(" The frown face was SERIOUSLY a complete accident, so I quickly wrote: "Oops:) lol"

Something has set him on FIRE this week! Whewwww dawgy!

[Train]

Unless there was some sizable equity in it (and I had a reasonable legal claim to 1/2 of it under my state's family court laws), I would be inclined to accept his monthly contribution to you, but SKIP MAKING THE MORTGAGE PAYMENT, while beginning to seek suitable rental property in my desired area (like S7's school district). Even though NC is a non-judicial state for foreclosures, and they seem to be running 90-180 days (unlike Florida's 400+ days), you could sock away some needed funds doing that. And there are legal moves you could make to delay it even further.

I have been thinking long and hard about this decision. H just made the decision easier for me. I have NO choice now ...

[Starsky309]

I ignored that and just asked him to re-confirm about not paying the mortgage. I said, "With the decrease in support being about $1,300/month (I think - haven't crunched numbers yet), I'll obviously not be able to pay the mortgage. Just double-checking that's what you still want me to do?" He wrote, "All up to you. I give a f**k about the house. . . .

God, what a moron he is to put that in writing like that. Yet somehow a beautiful thing.

You might have some good (or less-sucky at least?) options here then.

[Starsky309]

Unless there was some sizable equity in it (and I had a reasonable legal claim to 1/2 of it under my state's family court laws), I would be inclined to accept his monthly contribution to you, but SKIP MAKING THE MORTGAGE PAYMENT, while beginning to seek suitable rental property in my desired area (like S7's school district). Even though NC is a non-judicial state for foreclosures, and they seem to be running 90-180 days (unlike Florida's 400+ days), you could sock away some needed funds doing that. And there are legal moves you could make to delay it even further.

I have been thinking long and hard about this decision. H just made the decision easier for me. I have NO choice now ...

What is the mortgage balance, and what does Zillow say it's worth presently?

[Train]

Good lawd. I had gone all week, calling this week "boring" ... but knowing the other shoe could drop at any moment.

He's really laying all his remaining cards out at one time, ain't he?