Thanks it is time for me to practice wonder woman stance. It is amazing how powerful you feel after doing it for 2 minutes. Thanks for the ideas and support.
Takevowserious-
Yes husband has always been about intimidation. I did not see it until I started detaching, but now realize it has been there the whole time I really want to tell on them at work as they are doing dumb stuff and it is endangering lives - very not cool With the high morals I have it is hard to stand back. They work evening shift, so it is unlikely they will be caught...ugh. Thanks for the advice
Bluesgal-
Thanks for the idea. However when we fight I am usually on my own. He gets home from work at 11pm (if he does not hang with OW.) Last night he got home at 3am and woke me up to be a pain. So I can't wake kids in middle of night to retreat. I do have family that hopefully is moving down the street, so that will help. Thanks for the advice.
Everyone-
It is so hard to watch him carry on with OW and say they are just friends. He is over there every morning while I'm at work and kids are in school. Then at work with her 3 to 4 days a week. Then they hang out after work on talk on phone until 2 to 4 am. I don't say anything, bc there is no point - they are just friends right - ugh I do not have idiot written across my face. H is pursuing her hard just like he did me before we got married. He says he wants a divorce when work thing is figured out and I believe him. He has MLC, depression, and showing signs of bipolar Sometimes I feel like giving up, but the look at Ds 7 and 5 and cannot. He started us down this road, if he wants a divorce he can do it. In the meantime he is taking financial risks - $4000 for lawyer for work and then $300 tattoo, that is butt ugly. I feel so bad bc he is gunning for one of my friends at his work, and she has no idea. I wondering what he has left to do on his MLC bucket list. He has done - swearing, drinking, smoking, tattoo, porn, ea and pa, lying - what is left? I am starting to detach a little from his life with OW (he says it is his life and kids not for me to enter - right the girls are with him when he is at her house drinking in middle of night - what a dumb A.) The problem is that when I detach and he wants to have a conversation I am a royal bitch instead of nice. I cannot seem to flip it both ways. Did anyone have problems with this?
I actually am looking for some free lawyer advice about this whole work issue. The only lawyers I have seen or know or family law not employment. I want to know what I am up against, and if I need to file to protect kids and I financially. Anyone here a lawyer?
This is such a crazy soap opera mixed with a game of chess that sometimes I have to laugh. The other night when I caught him watching porn I busted up laughing and could not stop, it felt good. H did not know how to respond.
Does this really last 2 to 7 years? Those that are past a year - how in the world do you do it?
I really want to tell on them at work as they are doing dumb stuff and it is endangering lives - very not cool 
