MC is over I said something along the lines of what I had planned. Her response was that she was relieved that I felt like that. She said her aim in the MC was too see us come through all of this sane and happy. I probably said more after that than I had intended, the counsellor was asking questions etc and I was answering honestly but it seemed that the blame for all of this was being placed squarely at my door. I continued to accept responsibility, because of the gambling,not focusing on her needs, neglecting areas that I should have focused on etc. She was happy to let me do this and it seemed that all of this was totally my fault. Eventually the counsellor asked how I felt about what had been discussed so far. I reaffirmed again my responsiblity in contributing things but said I felt frustrated that it seemed that all of this was totally my responsiblity and there seemed to be no acceptance from her about her role in this. She said that she accepted that she had done wrong but that she wouldn't have had she been happy. 'I wasn't unhappy' she said ' its just that I wasn't really really happy, our lives were routine and boring' I asked why she had never discussed any of this with me and she shrugged and had no real explanation. He then asked each of us how we saw things going forward I said that I accepted that she no longer wanted to be in the marriage and I was moving on with my life. I said I hoped she could eventually find what she was looking for with or without me. She immediately picked up on this saying, 'why are you saying with or without? Its definitely without so please don't hold out any hope' I can't say right for saying wrong obviously.
