Oh, also... how do I respond to the email giving me compliments for handling our situation so well and saying that in many ways I've handled it better than he has??? Do I respond? I am letting myself sit on it for a couple of days. Thinking of saying, "Yes, I do feel quite confident and proud. Thank you for the kind words."
After pursuing, shaming, trying to convince him of how wrong he was for the first two-three months, I pretty much completely backed off. I want to show him that I am moving in a positive direction with or without him. That it's not a trick to get him back. The truth is, the changes *needed* to happen, and in a way I am thankful that he jolted me into it. I don't think I would have reached this level of stability and self-confidence otherwise.
I want him to see that I am releasing a lot of my anger (I actually feel more pity for him-- in some ways he is having a much harder time than I am, because he seems to be carrying some guilt around, which I am not). But it also feels too soon to be anything more than casually friendly with him, even though he is opening up a tiny bit. I tried so hard at first to get him to change his mind and it was so misdirected. I don't want to push him away again.
