25yearsmlc, thank you for the great reminders. Just to update-- he found parking right out front and brought her to the door. A quick, easy exchange. So all my worry and resentment was for nothing, and I'm so glad I was able to get support from this forum to remind me to just let it go.
Then, yesterday, on my day, we had a busy morning (playdate with a friend that included painting, dyeing Easter eggs, and lunch), then I got both of us dressed and ready and drove over an hour in the rain to see my family. Was raining even harder on the way home. My brother came with me, which eased my anxiety (I actually wasn't anxious on the way home, even though the road conditions were pretty bad). I pulled into a tight spot right out front, and carried my 32 lb sack of sleeping potatoes, and our stuff, into the apartment, in the pouring rain, without an umbrella all by myself.
And he sent me an email yesterday telling me that he's noticed how strong and brave I've been, and how that is in stark contrast to how he has been (he admitted he was too scared to come in to say hello to my family the other day), and he hopes I feel proud of how I've been dealing with everything. And also that he has a fever and stayed home from work and will have to miss his scheduled time with our D.
I am a bada$$. I am confident, capable and strong. And I'm reaching the point where I feel like only a fool would leave me. Thanks for all the great advice. This forum has been really helpful to me.
