You are starting to have the perspective shift that makes you stronger. The emotional shock (and depression) is wearing off and you are beginning to see clearly.
I found that when you have detached from the emotional bond and seeing everything she does or says as pointed at you; looking for a hidden meaning; mind reading; etc, your life shifts from ACTING rather than REACTING. And this is also when the GAL'ing starts to feel normal and deserved.
For example, and I've said this out loud to my daughter when she was as young as 3, (because she has also lamented the fact she goes back and forth weekly)"Yes, it would be nice if we all lived together but this way you have two houses; two sets of toys; two groups of friends, two birthday parties, two Christmas mornings. And that's pretty cool, eh?"
Only when you are looking after YOUR best interests (hobbies, friendships, work, YOUR LIFE!!) can you be fully present and happy when you have your kids with you. And you and I both know that when you were married, you didn't focus on your kids like you do now. Right?
I've never thought of this analogy before but consider this experience as your "first heart attack". Consider yourself lucky in that some people don't get a 'warning shot' and that you now have the opportunity and the perspective to prioritize what IS important (and that starts with taking care of YOU) and that now is the time to learn how NOT to have another heart attack.
Make sense?
Control is impossible Detach from the emotion of this Be your natural self Earn back your self-respect Assign responsibility equally Realize this process will improve you
