IMHO everything its being rushed towards something you knew already...D Whats the difference now? That you have a more exact percent? I believe in this case the fear took control of the situation and it was no patience around.
I really cant see how that conversation could help, yes its a way for you to receive Reasurance and drop your hopes, it seems that you love him so much that you can only letting him go if you make sure there is no chance... Again in my opinion that conversation, was a way of controlling things, and as you see now you are still wondering if you should contact him or not...
We worry about those things because we want to control, its like a drug for us and if we don't withdrawal then... The proper way for that not to affect you its letting go, reading DB again and definitly the book "the power of letting go"
Keep an eye on that 90% and a few of those points because I think they will do some effect in the next coming days or weeks.
Upwards you been doing great, you need to GAL and focus on you, this is your sitch and you have to learn to let go of control, you can't control how all this its gonna go, you are trying to do exactly that and its not going to work, its like a fog that will trow you down over and over....
Your H asked for D a long time ago, you have been doing great in many ways, I believe and maybe I am seeing this different, that you see him as an addict and you still think that you can help him in a way and rescue him out of his problems...
Could I ask you something? Did you have this conversation with him "with an intention to wake him up"?
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
